`Everything is nothing

2006-06-04T08:46:00.000-07:00

staying strong
trying ta play your game
silence means?
wells im not sure

i may seem fine outside
but inside?
full of confusion. unhappiness.
still i have ta stay strong

and stay positive
but i know you won't care.

oh wells. BeEeg sMiLe =D
- nice knowing you for e past 1 yr 1 day -

2006-05-30T08:25:00.000-07:00

*heyy i wish you all e best with him ks. i guess that's it eh? =D

=D=D=D=D=D=D

for e 1st time im smiling. out wit sec bros. jokes jokes jokes. hahs until one part when i tried ta be a match maker? =D wells i did smile while doing that ok? hahs.

I, I don't know why I miss you so much
Yeah I, I don't know why I still feel your touch
You, you left me feeling high and dry
With nothing, nothing but the question why
Yeah you, I guess you had another direction
And leaving me with nothing but a dead connection

If you call me today
I'll say that I'm fine
But I bet you can tell by the tone of my voice
It's just a lie
You knew what you had
You still walked away leaving me in this mess
My love for you is deep and meaningless

You, you knew what you were doing to me
And I, I guess I was too blind to see
Well you hit where it hurt and you fooled me so bad
But I'd do it again to relive what we had
Damn that's sad

There are many things left to remind me
Of a love that I just can't leave behind me

2006-05-29T06:12:00.000-07:00

being e manpower head did give me an adv. scroll thru e freshie list and guess what i found out? alot. firstly was danny's ting. but then i was there ta check something else thou.

mr ang & mrs sim xxx

owh yeah. i knew it all along but i juz wanna reconfirm. and yeps its true. oh oh and perhaps the metal tingy on his teeth made u melt rite?

can sum1 pls tell me why do i owaes find out things that she wants ta hide from me?!?!?

whers e sms-es? whers e calls? whers e meet-ups? pls, u promised u wont go away...
owh im so enjoying my last days. bull****

2006-05-28T08:21:00.000-07:00

time flies very fast. am soon gonna go overseas, for at least 3mths? haiz. mixed feelings i shud say. been feeling e ups and downs of the aftamath of grad, and also camp. different emotions filled my heart thru out these times. perhaps maybe im the fickle minded one here? i dunno. but i have to give it to ma men. people like my constantine bros, ken ahow razif n all. colinn mal n many more. thanks ta her frens for those tiny miny encouragements here n der. thnks to all of you who have been there for me all these while, esp thru those e.m.o times. thanks for e tips n all, which i didnt need them i think cos i never use them eventually. hahs yea yea i know u guys gave me a name. HUH? what? pussy cat doll? Narhsss. heees.

many things have happend since e day i've met you but have i ever regretted experiencing them? NEVER. i respect all that you've done oks.
everything she does is beautiful. everything she does is right.

i dunno wats on ur mind now. perhaps maybe i juz know u pretty well but not that well. trying ta be contradicting har? perhaps thers something you're hiding since that day, 5weeks ago? anw i juz need a wonderful farewell eh before i become a property of something else. you're grounded now. oh dear! im really feeling sick now. what does it mean? no more hang-outs. no more chilling. no more sending you home. yeah yeah happy rite? lols. i'm not thou. im sure to feel the lost, e feeling of missing somethin. tings gonna reach the peak very very soon. i really hope your happy with what you are nw. anw i do have few wishes before i go in. ask ard if you wanna noe.
where are you? i miss you. then again theres always a qstn you can ask. what can you do? wells lorry loads of them. =B

even if you have finally found ur mr perfect, you dun hav ta be like that dreadful times rite? u noe wat i mean. don't you ever treasure those memories? owh man. tis is realy getting deep and meaningless... =/

err ok guys in case tis is my last entry for e mth, i wud like ta take tis oppoortunity ta thank all of you for everything. hahs wats eevrything anw? errr eevrything lahh! haha. n yeah, apologies pls if i have done anythign wrong yeah. HOHO sounds as if i wont be coming back eh?? HAHA. narhs i'll be back, no worries!! take care all... =D

listening ta my compilation of songs: an album by 'shamms but not shamfull'

2006-04-29T05:54:00.000-07:00

LOOK AT MY HAIR.

STARE AT MY HAIR.

COS YOU MIGHT NOT SEE IT AGAIN..... =D

----------------------------------------------------

am bored.

am missing someone.

feels like its happening again.

oh please please... hurrhurr

I'm really really sorry if i did sumting wrong yea. =(

"watchin movie..."

Everything is sumting aftarall.

2006-03-01T03:04:00.000-08:00

1st March 2006. The end has finally come. I juz took my last paper in Ngee Ann Polytechnic after three awesome and wonderful years. Just as exitted the lift at blk 56 at 11.00am, i saw year 3s, smiling, luffing, all overjoyed. GRADUATION. yeps all has came true. but as they joy, i sobbed. unfinished bizness i shud say. but anyway i shud be happy rite? so as i move on, i'll like to recap e nice memorable significant events and days of my 3 yrs in a small temparory home called Ngee Ann Polytechnic.........

Journey once ended on 25th October 2002 at Jurongville Sec. Yeps nvm if u tink we were typical neighbourhood sch students, but apparently we were e ones that help give e sch a good image. yeah my group of frens were the best. we called ourselves tha kronos FC when we formed a soccer team. recruited a few others, and ended up a multi racial team. nvm bout tha fact we only win a few times, but in our hearts, we knew we were marvellous as a team. Then in early years of sec4, our fame increases. well frankly there were 11 guys who were always together, recess, afta sch, n everyting thou we were not in e same class. There were 4 to 5 popular ones (i wasnt one! LALALA). And so girls dun mind us minggling wit them. yeah cool har? but me as usual, only chose e rite ones. doesnt matter how pretty u are to others. if ur not to me, den orh. Hees. ok we called ourselves The Dizturbance. head by zulhakim, his followers were fizz shamm rudy alan rey fidz zeke fiq farhan ravi n more. andd on that 25th Oct, graduation day, seriuzly some of us cried. everything had to end afta 4 years. Oh yes, o levels ended on 25th November eh. hees i remmberd.

Then soon afta, results n postings n all were out. not all chose to go to the same poly thou eventually 3 of us got e same course. only 1 chose to be in JC thou most of us cud go in. JC? uniforms? eeee. but i like uniforms thou. but i juz hate taking english. LOLs. ok so as we moved on, i became e 1st of many to get involved in poly activities. went ta the NP FOC Camp with yong tat before we even started sch. made many frens der. girls? yes alot! interest? yes alot! hitched? errmm standard. my name is hisham rite? hahs. group name was ROmans! n we were e most creative and noisy group. won e best cheers eh. and never did i tot that this camp cud be a significant one for me. it wasnt to be my last FOC Camp thou......
then went ta my department's orientation camp, 3DO Camp. Fun but not as fun as FOC camp. shud i say it was organized by sum "slow" pple? yeah but still i enjoyed it. then days later, sch started. 30th June 2003. entered a classroom full of new faces, except for my groupmate during 3do camp thou. different faces, ahbeng, a grandpa wit spikey hair, a tudung girl, e berd, e anti social, n many more. owh man! i hate my class! wheres e chiobus?? n seriuzly as days went by, my classmates were always quarelling wit each other. oh man how cant i have peace n unity among my mates.. thankfully it was not that bad in the 2nd sem. i cud talk to my kakak, like at last afta few mths. hahs she used to tink dat i was too proud of maself cos i only choose to tok to chiobus. duhhh im never like dat ok. =D n basically der was another reason.

found my first love, in poly, just afta few mths in poly n few weeks before our sem1 exams. ok so well as u noe, i nvr say i love you to a girl unless i mean it. n dat was e first time i really meant it when poly started. neglected my friends, my buddies cos of her. stoopid me. but too bad all went wrong and guess who was der? my FRIENDS. n of cos e tudung girl, siti. got over her eventually afta some surgery. wahahha. so peeps out der who got cheated, i understand eh. Bleahs =P yeps more info in my old blog if its still valid? LOL.

as the exams was over, pple started disappearing again. so did i turn to? my FOC frens. yeah 2nd year of FOC camp. this time as GL. n der i found many crazy frens, suitable for me. haha. no surprise for us to click together very fast. then my group was Hopi, led by the father of all stupidity, kit! my group was damn fun, or i shud say e whole camp crew was fun. enjoyed maself all e way thou i cud see no significant girls in my grp. again, rumours flew around but its already in me to ignore. seniors came to ma group to tell me how lucky i was. soo many cuteys. really meh? too bad i didnt realize any. only afta i looked back at my photos did i realize. haha but nvm all nt my type. hehe. seriuz lah! so thru FOC camp, i developed much bigger circle of frens. true frens? hmm yet to noe.

so tings began to turn around slowly but surely for ma class. in sem 3, me n clicks named ourselves. GESKY Gerald Eric Shamm Kenneth Yungquan. yeah we were e most famous grp in class, making nuisance of ourselves eac time e class was down. me, goin in frnt of e class n cheer them up. oh yeah man, i was like e cheer leader of e class! might as join magnum force rite? haha. GESKY cud haf lasted all e way if not for gerald who quitted sch half way. n so this grp got smaller n new mmbrs were recruited. yungquan found a gf n we almost fought cos of that. we started to neglect us but i didnt mind cos i was like him once. kenneth got too emotional i think. he has been treasuring frenship since his 1st day in poly. learnt his lessons maybe in sec sch. so der i was in sem 4, e top student for mobile computing. yeps was e 1st acad award since pri2. hehee. unpredictable, unexpected yeah but still it happened.

n so by sem4, hmm lets see how many frens i haf compared to my classmates clicks? haha uncountable. i haf soo many hi bye frens n also real frens. no kidding. but i tot i was crazy enuff to say hi to pple almost everywher i go in sch. there are worse pple to come, HAHA! so again hols of sem4, back to FOC pple. oh ya, have been wit the ICT Society since my 1st 3do camp n was in their exco comm. hahs. eventually got outcasted cos we werent in e same frequency. i understand mandarin n i dun expect others to tok bad about me in mandarin in front of me. but too bad dats wat they did cos dey didnt noe my background eh. so yeah FOC peeps are e best! this time i was closer to e crew. n even chose not to be DH cos i preferred to be wit e cool guys. yeah we were more bonded wit each other. haha den der was e little time of anti-GLs campaign cos dey were too lazy to help out. haha but it turned out to be fun thou. we tot dem a lesson. was e water fall IC, n pia zui IC for the camp. n as expected, i will be known but not as popular lah. who will remmber a crew member rite? LALALA. so no matter where i go, walking wit yong tat or chee how, they stopped and talked to freshies. me? juz act like i noe dem eh. HAHA. i loove to act famous eh.

and so by this time, sem 5! n i had no other frens to turn to except foc peeps cos my frens were away on attachments n i cudnt go, thnks to who? maself! shant blame others. so i got much much closer to foc peeps n till one day i was elected in the NPSU exco comm. yeps as usual, i dare to take responsiblities. hard on me but i still loove it. then decided to join rugby afta so many years of absence. everyting went well. oh yea i have no girl in mind since e camp. i juz played around n when i play i dun keep dem in my heart, only at some small tiny miny part in my mind. haha. im not bad ok! all was ok until one day when chee how brought in his frreshie, e Runners up for FOC Pageantino 05/06, to SU. damn. when? hahs, 4th June 2005. Damn i was juz playing with them that i cud fall for her but it turned being seriuz. see lah shamm, play sumore lah.

<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>> =D

2006-02-18T07:46:00.000-08:00

* Oops. think lightning struck at the wrong time. BUT.. *

all i can do now is to understand you. yeps i understand you inside out eh. from the time you were juz took ecstasy till the very moment you got struck by lightning and then rained.

-= Stay strong owaes oke. I'm strong =-

----------------------- =D

2006-01-23T04:53:00.000-08:00

lack of sleep. lack of energy.
disastrous day i had. e assgmnt. e past tense. e union.

- juz want this day to end, pls -

am waiting for that perfect chance.
how many days do i have left?

have u ever loved a song for so long. then one day u saw someone used that song on the one u love? how will u feel bout the song then?

a) hate the song
b) carry on loving it since its meaningful
c) just do what you've plan to do with that song
d) don't bother and find a new song

i'm not sure either. whats yours...
"its either tis or tat only"

2006-01-16T04:22:00.000-08:00

frankly i'll like to declare maself a blackie now!LOLs. am very red and dark afta saturday's rugby touney at Changi naval base. Owh yeah sat! e day when e sun came bck out. even sentosa werent dat hot i think. the whole team is very tanned now thou, so at least im not alone lah. even my sis has disturbed me eh. people at sentosa? ahurr, hope ya all had fun yea. sorry didnt make it cos errr, we ended only when ya all haf started dinner. so how? haha blame e rain, ryt? YEAH!

ok its assgmnt time now and sadly(contradicting?) its my LAST assgmnt ever! 4weeks lata, im gonna be a graduate of NP. hurhurhur, am i suppose to be happy or sad? yeah yeah both, i think. happy cos of my achievements academically. sad cos of? hahs. 4weeks! dats all i haf left. cos why? e last sem hols(2mths), hahs oh wells. so im gonna expect e unexpected. n wat cud be worse than ending my poly life with e same mia tingy again eh. n yes! my fren got his enlistment letter oreadi. 14march police! hais. wheres mine?? bleahs.

been to many blogs these days. n guess what similarities ive seen? -friendship. yeps.. hurhuruhr so to all out there, dun quarrel wif ur frens yeah. e more frens u haf e more vitamin M u'll get ya noe when u get married! WAHAHA. wells kidding only yea. so guys pls treasure. its no use quarrelling wif ur beloved frens cos of a girl or a guy. not worth at all. hmm yeah so wats e best ting to do then? stay home n be anti social? LOLs. narhs its up ta u ta decide ks. And HEY a tip: be a camp chief and u'll make many2 frens eh! ahakz =D

- watchin love concierge on chnl8 now.
- listenin to justin roman & natalie_-_where are you.mp3

2006-01-08T05:51:00.000-08:00

-RINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG-

Ah? Owh. must be the rain lahh! =D

.i trust my frens.

2006-01-05T07:21:00.001-08:00

.it was like that. and it will remain like that.

-am havin the sweetest dream of ma life-

*dearest dream. please dun die on me yet okies? pleassssse*

"hie peeps, dun wake me up okies"

http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=dream

2006-01-02T18:18:00.000-08:00

hurrrr.. do i really have to update???

hahs ok lahh since u all asked for it, here i go. Taking a break now. will continue tudyin later.

Nuting much happened lately other than my memorable Challengers camp. haha being a camp chief was seriuzly fun! no regrets for taking over dat bastard who only went to camp to get money from us. bleahs.. made many2 frens. from boys to girls to gays to les to chiobus to yandaos and all lahh. haha to trouble makers to true leaders to emos to watever lahh. And surely some frenship has tremendously improved thru e camp. well, we learn n understand each other better. BUT, LOLs, e camp wasnt dat complete thou for me. hahaha why?? duhhh... pple who noe me well will noe e reason. ahakz... stooooopid~

ok then afta camp, relax and relax and holiday! went genting. damn boring cos it rained everyday! n didnt spend much cos e tings der r all e same. Ok n i tink i gained weights cos of the number of meals i had der! hahahah! but nvm can train back...

n then juz ystd, guess who i was out with!?!? huhh? WRONG-
it was my pri sch mates. haha not surprising lahh cos we all will meet up once every 2years for sure. n ok lahh ur sort of guess it right thou. went out with my classmates ta study at Milennia walk BK. fun thou cos as per normal, in study grps, we TALK MORE! hahah! hmm... hurrr... huhh.. isnt dat wat u guessed? bleahs..

Take care ya.

2005-12-13T09:19:00.000-08:00

hmm, its been 160 days since i first talked to sum1 eh. Lols.. but minus e 60days of absence, so its 100! wahaha... just got nuting to do noww, so i counted sum stupid stuffs.. niwae its thnx to a fren dat i actually ended up counting it...

I rmmbrd it clearly when i was down, few came to me and care to ask, "hey shamm, r u ok?" or sumting lyk dat. in fact dey got so fed up wif me cos i showed a few attitudes which dey have nt seen me do it b4..... but when it comes to my close frens getting sad, i juz cant make maself to ignore. hehe, im juz lyk dat.. frens r lyk my brudders or sistas.. so i will ask! but provided he/she wanna share wif me thou..

n to another fren, whos soo emotional nowadays. heyy u look up at e sky. u see many stars? dats e number of frens u can still make ya noe... haha but i understand ur feelings.. just try to tink of other things when u feel lyk crying k. good lyuck for ur exams....

ok to whoever it may concern, hahs we knew bout it since e day we told u dat we saw her wif sum1 else. ur face showed evrything. hahs its not dat me or ken can read ur mind or what lahh but its all in you.. so niwaes... aiya why must be so sad.. common lahh.. u player wats.. hahah!! ok lahh dats all i haf to say, but i noe how ya feel.. i was at it too ya noe.. haha anyting, juz go another forum lahh... wahahaha....

oryte guys exam gonna start very soon. camp gonna start bery soon. sch gonna end very soon. thru camps, people gonna get paired up very soon. haha wells, it happens in eveyr camps.... ok lahh see ya till next tym.. happy examing!!~ =p to all those who have finished, SP/ NYP bla bla... dun be so happy cos ur rslts r not outtttt!!! wekkkkkkkkk~

2005-12-01T06:54:00.000-08:00

i duno wats wrong with people nowadays... loooove to have fun. lyk what i've owaes said yea,
~if u duno how to swim, dun even think of sailing~

=p

2005-11-25T08:39:00.000-08:00

seems lyk this blog has been silent for so long ehs. Hahas been very bz wif many tings till i dun haf that tym. k lah, at least nw im quite free n i juz woke up thou, so lets blog...

nuting much happnd. my school rugby lost to TP and eventually we got 4th among 5 teams! we cud get 1st if we beat them! but wats past is past. n ya! e same day b4 e TP match, went for a photo shoot for some sch poster. haha.. duno why dey have chosen me instead of those dragon boaters?!?! HURHURHUR.. then at nite, ton in sch n went to haLO bar wher sher came ovr to sit awhile, n take some things from me. You better take care of it well k!! =p

Then the challengers camp! Was damn bz wif this as im e so called IC. supposed to be sum1 else. haha n ive vowed to push any blames to him in case of any cockups!! bluehs! the registration was very bad for the 1st day! pple began to get kanchiong and all. even the regulars r not joining thou dey were slackin at the booth e whole day! n pple who even skipped lectures n all.. notti!! but niwaes i was still relaxed cos i was confident it wud b e last day dat pple will start crowding at our booth! was chased by pple whevr i go dat day! its lyk dis camp is my life. i cudnt even enjoy my bday bash wif my frens. but niwaes things have been bttr now... Thanks to all who have joined the camp!! i'll make full use of ur money!! wahaha!!

ok lahh wanna sleep.. cya!~

2005-11-01T23:32:00.000-08:00

skool has started!! yey yey! haha i lothe skool ya noe. but i seriuzly looved skool esp laz sem cos of e tings i experienced n all. dis sem is gonna be ma laz sem. n im sure gonna miss skul, e pple n everything afta dat! no more study life!!

haha fancy me gettin so sad in e 1st week of skool. Lols! all ma clazmates r seperated now, cos of our different electives. sians! e only time we meet is only during our breaks. haha we share e same sentiments thou, we hate e timetable n e new system! wahaha.

niwae juz got injured, again, during my game wif SAS/SAJC recently. got a swollen tiny finger n part of my 4th finger n their surroundin eventually. till now ok! hehe. hopefully it can recover soon coz im gona go for my medical checkup nex week! but not say its worth it lahh but i got some praises from my teammates afta e game! hurhurhur.. good debut i shud say..~

hols dis time is quite boring thou. i can go out, but i cant do much work! my right hand is still very painful.. 2mrw's gonna be e laz day of fasting mth, n im lookin forward to my normal days, wahaha! at least i can eat again wif my frens. n going out wif e pple i want to will not be a hassle anymore... so niwaes to those celebting e festivals dis hols, Happy Deeparaya! =p

haha im juz bored n i duno wat else to write... tatas for now~ bluehs~

2005-10-20T01:38:00.000-07:00

ok im backk!!! with a BANGGGGG!! lols. crapp-
juz came bck from poly forum days ago n im still feeling the PF mood. yeah yeah i admit i did enjoy maself der altho e forum wasn't really as exciting as a camp.. but wells.. at least i lost my voice der!! haha.. it all began on e 10th october 2005..........

-10th Oct- Opening Ceremony
wore the blazers for e 1st tym in my 3years in NP. its lyk, WOW! haha guys do look good in blazers i can say.. i think i look good maself, wahaha. but lets put it dis way, its all up to u to decide, hehe..
NP sat in front NYP on that day. n so me n ma fren were forever looking at their girls. n cheehow was targetting sum1 then. hahah wells, i can say he has worked hard enuff, am i rite?? lols

-11th Oct- Day 1
Off to sofitel at 8am if im not wrong. made noise thruout e whole journey wif mr president n e rest.. n den reached sofitel n saw SP students oreadi slacking at diff corners, ahakz.. but who cares. then, i was only concerned for TP students. haha.. but as days went by, i got concerned for.. err.. TP SP NP RP NYP.. lols.. yeah yeah im toking shit... so ice breaker games were quite fun. didnt expect to come to a FORUM n lost my voice. was getting my team to cheer all e way. coz dey were basically so quiet compared to e other teams. but niwaes at least i taught dem 101 to cheat in ice breaker games, wahahha.. so then discussion groups started. n as usual, i only contributed e crappy stuffs. LOL hear n der wif sipeng.. but wells, der muz b a torn among the leaves rite?? ahah n guess wat, sum1 even realized i wasnt paying attention to all e presentations but instead, my eyes were looking sumwhere else... ahakz... den at nite, cards n such time.. played at elyn's room, e pub n stuffs.. haha n really felt bad to leave my cuzin in e room himself...

-12th Oct- Day 2
woke up n got a lecture from gopi coz we were late for e 1st game. n then out of e blues, i was so on during e discussion grps. n dat lead to me being saboed by them to give a speech. n seriuzly, i didnt haf anything to say. so der i stood, toking crapp.. e fat sham lahh, e taufik batisah tingy lahh n other craps. haha i got to noe sum1 actually got pissed wif my speech. oh wells u cant afford to impress everyone rite.. then it was time for free n easy. slacked at kristen's room.. den dinner, n then.... social nite!! participated in e 1st game, but afta dat everything went wrong, for e organizers of coz.. haha so we ended up goin to e pub n play. shermain joined us! haha e new SP girl who joined us in our activities dat nite. cool huh? was damn fun lahh, drinks luffters cards.. n even more fun when i got dare to ask sum1's number. n sipeng's room was really a mess thanks to us!! hahs.. but thanks to duno who lahh, she had to go back to her room to sleep, n all e girls eventually followed her. lols... who ah?? bluehs~ =p

13th Oct- Day 3
Pics pics n more pics... we juz went ard taking pics, more than wat we haf taken e past 3days. but, OK wat.. haha i enjoyed it.. las day was mostly bout presentations as e forum proper... hahs afta dat, we all parted in diff directions...

14th Oct- Closing Ceremony
Ji ba ji ba ji ba ban!! haha dats e theme of e day.. all of us forumers were shouting about in e convention center even at e presence of VIPs!! n it was seriuzly e day that made me feel that i might miss poly forum.. haha e bond was really there!! Gopi was really honoured to haf us seh.. haha.. wells evrything that began has an end. so then pics again.. wif all e pple i wanted to take wif since e 1st day!! haha.. n guess wat.. on top of that, i killed sumting! wahaha.. killed a baby wif my bare hands.. but ok lahh not my fault wat, hehe! then joined theme 1's outing for a while.. n then went off earlier than them of coz.. cinderella~ =p

And so, till we meet again.... PF PF Ji Ba Ban!!!

2005-10-08T23:23:00.000-07:00

hmmph juz dun feel lyk displayin my last entry. haiz.. MAYBE. =

2005-10-03T01:43:00.000-07:00

dammit. tried sumting when i was out with ma frens juz now. andd yerp, it turned out e way we expected.

i WAS told im not forgotten. but seems like i I AM forgotten now. whyie??? hurhurhur.

yah yah i noe, im nuting but a lousy ungentleman jerk,whos not cute not friendly not funny not cool. not fit to be toked to. right anot kakak.. hahs... uwerrrrrr...

chatted with a mysterious person. hmmph.. she was really mysterious. errrrrr....

ok lah guyz talk to you later.. but dunnoe when is later lah yeah.. ;)

2005-10-02T01:09:00.000-07:00

SURPRISE!! lols yeah saw a reader's comment on my tagboard.
to annoyed reader: i fully agree wif ya. wanting to say that too for so long. dats why ders a saying, frens r to be busted..? niwae i'll be very careful wif ma frens yah. n you shud too ks.

poly forum was abit boring for e 1st day. talks and talks. boredoms. haha anita was playing wif tamagotchi, me n elyn was havin a msn chat wif her hp... bla bla bla.. and haha dunoe y the school was giving away a trophy with a crystal ball on it. hahaha elyn!! sensitive word eh? lols. my grp discussion was fun though! yeah e gay society. sort of bonded even at the first day. yey! haha but typical shamm wont like everything to be too seriuz. so der he was askin his mates to cheer up. start anything with a few 'rarh rarh', shout shout, n der u haf it, a very gay society. happy family. HAHs.

niwae afta forum day1, had cuzins outing day. cant believe all 3 of them are still together with their own gfs even afta a year or so. cool huh? n their long r'ships did nt include any break patch break patch thingy at all. haha tokin bout gfs owaes interest me, why? coz dey never seem to believe it if i dun haf any at any moment. wells. haha. ok one of them was buying a bday prezie for his gf. told him to get a tamagotchi though coz it'll be fun. more meetups for sure btwn e two of you!! wells at most you'll only lose contact wif her, dats all... n THEN u'll realize you shud haf done sum tings earlier...... hmmph~ pfft~

2005-09-30T02:23:00.000-07:00

haha time now??? im suppose to sleep now. tired afta spinning ard to eunos to n fro but still cant sleep YET. aik, its like the mambo song frm nike ads seh.... err go listen urself lahh! wekkk... n wat does spinning alone means? yeah yeah.. opened windows, loud music, my special bilingual cd, initial D Movie's last part, roaring wind, 110km/h, andd introvert-ing of coz.. HAHs

niwae went to meet ong lahh at 12am? yerp no more cinderella. no more ring ring frm mommy at 12am. no more car turnin to pumpkin. no more fairygod mother frm fairytale land, at least for now. n best of all, this might be my last tym driving for e mth of october. dats why i went to haf my last visit there b4 anything. anddd thks alot ya eric ong. i haven even tell u anything n u noe wat was on ma mind oreadi yah. actually dat was my purpose of meetin u lahh. ur e abang wat n u also owaes say that i shud tok to u if im dwn... ahakz.. at least u also need me to listen to u rite, haha. ok its fair now. u shud come to me too nex tym yah. eh ong, dun worry lahh urs can survive one. give and take can oreadi. call me if u wana sit at ecp rocks lyk wat i was sppsd to do ks. hmmph~

andd we had fun am i rite? haven mommy teach u b4, warmup first b4 u play? wahahaha... yeah went to play xbox winning 11. heyy im a rookie at xbox eh n look wat happened?? lols. okok enuff, scared u angry den u wont let me play again. sianz. pfft~ hope everything will get back to normal~

2005-09-29T13:07:00.000-07:00

hmmph. in SU now doing nuting. everyone is bz doing stuffs but im here slacking while waiting for them. siao eh, haha i noe. gonna go runnning ater. yey yey! in su...wanna watch tv, wah the cartoon's so boring. wana play game, e com im using now has a lousy keyboard. wana sleep, cnt sleep. so what else, here i am... n yerp im listening to e song on her blog.. haha at least it can put me to snooze mode for awhile la although its a very nice song. lols.

n yah, gonna be away in malaysia for poly forum soon. wow, can screen for more girls, hahahha. having an autoroam enabled phone is surely useful, but wif budget pple like my boss around, wahahaha. it makes me wonder if i shud really bring my phone. e name i've owaes been waiting for wont appear anyways. yeah yeah i noe. its been a few days since i last chat with her eh. cheehow ought to noe sumting but i will not ask him, i respect their trust for each other lahh. haha. n hmmph.. i think im abit stupid to say this but, im beginning to miss her. no call, no sms, no online chats, no meetups. lols no wonder she kept askin me to go out wif ma frens. n guess what, lucily i listened to her. if not i'll be starved with boredom to death, hmm ok lahh nt dat bad as death i shud say. aniwaes, i really hope dat she'll at least msg me or sumtin lahh b4 im going away. who noes i wont be seeing her again! wahah touch wood!~

orites all m going makan soon. tata guyz...

to rey: oi wheres my suar daam? =p

2005-09-28T01:48:00.000-07:00

hahs. eh thurs meet in sch at 4++ ah.. run chat run chat afta dat lie flat. and then we'll see bout it yahs. heyyyyyy btw, below is the list of what im doing dis very moment:

as i watch the 2 fish in my dad's fish tank
as i listen to the sounds from my tv
as i feel the wind from my fan
as i look at my billabong cap
as i connect my lousy digicam to my laptop
as i clear my messy study table
as i wake Bobo up and play games with him
as i feed Bobo and clear his shit
as i think of how's Bubu is doing rite now
as i read her blog
as i touch my stupid short hair
as i read e news in planetfootball.com
as i type all this nonsense in my laptop
as i stare at this laptop's screen
as i listen to the songs available in my library
as i search the website for arsenal's match later on
as i think of the missed chances i had laz saturday
as i do sit-ups and push-ups
as i chat with ma frens in msn
as i drink from this new puma bottle
as i yawn while stopping maself from getting to sleep
as i think of what pple wud tink of me afta reading my blog
as i push my police car forward and back
as i wait patiently for that special msn popout to pop
as i reply to a sms from my sista
anddd as i wonder if i shud write all my tots for today
cuz i tink if i were to write them all, u wud haf guessed. no matter how round e circle is, e center point will still be one n only rite? lols. Butt... its juz like a pen u see.. +visualise+

BLEAHHS.

2005-09-26T00:04:00.000-07:00

yey yey.. its all over. the bbq was a cockup. yeah wheres e bday party, e sabo, all e things planned? alot of extra food gone to waste. alot of peepz went back early. All these added up to e quiet n dull n boring bbq. yerp, seriuzly, dun ya all think so? ok lah apart from e 'handicaped' tingy that u all said, haha, e rest were nuting compared to e last bbq we had rite...

andd so it all began when i waited at e void deck. Hah hmm ok, didnt expect anything but got a prezen. thanks alot! but as bad as i can be, i only cud see her tings again e nex nite cos my bro drove off wif my tings still in e car. haiz bad boy!! i luvvv e bag, i lovvvv e bottle, i luvvvv e car, n moz of all erm i lovvvv, e card? lols. no doubt e best prezie wud juz be e chance to see her lahh.. then we went to yishun, and bla bla bla... and then came the birth of TWO cuties, Bobo and Bubu. yerp they are alive!! Tamagotchi lah waht else! nice thinking for e names ya. n so as expected, during bbq, peepz kept suaning me. at least ive given e warning earlier lahh, so hopefully shes more prepared for them. so apart from all e eating chating suaning thingy... there was e short bluff and taiti session. haisss. juz a few words to describe maself.

stupid, slowmo, fool, mad.. and all e lowly words to describe a person (haha forget e word, izit adjetives or what?) How can i say it juz like that when i really meant it. dats y i have to think thrice b4 saying anything. Wah quan ah quan, bel ah bel. dats nt e dare i expected lahh, but hmm... MAYBE. niwae thnx for the chance. lols

n so i planned to do sumting in e car on e way back. BUT.. it always has to happen. dats y sumtyms i maself hate to drive. brudderhood and girlhood? why cant dey juz gimme a break for one nite? hmmph.. ahah sumore u all noe bout IT whats.. nvm its all over niwae.. hopefully there'll be a nex tym. u guyz better pray hard for me cos u dunoe what i actually went thru for the 'handicapped' tingy to happen, lols. sorry for the long journey back home. yeah yeah i noe im e driver. apologies ya if i hurt anyone for blaming u all. butt belinda's houz is so damn far! hahs i noe cwystal was scared to gif me directions although she knew. yerp its juz a bad habit. new driver lahh! sorries! those who got lost with me b4 wud have experienced e same tingy. i'll change my ways soon. yaya for this, its my fault. butt for that, haha, u guys fault!

so guyz, nex sem b4 grad, outing again? haha n dis time i wan it to be a BOOM! at least an esplanade truth or dare session ks. yaya its hard but wif hands that think, we can develop.. lols. so niwae, it really feels great to have Bobo and Bubu now! does dis mean dey haf to meet up often now??? narhhss it all depends though. but for today, my Bobo seemed restless. missing Bubu lahh. MAYBE.. soccer was gd today since e laz tym played was mths ago! although i didnt score for e 1st tym lah. n i managed to complete a self composed song today. yerp did it by maself. ok so anywaes, im still living in a world of my own. yerp nigthmares sweet drems all circulates e same tingy. c'mon brain, u can do better den dat....teach me how to get rich if u can, lols!

P.S: hey peepz ders anotehr girl's name rite? fulfilled my promise frm e laz entry. ;D
p.s2: i got a pack of undies as a prezen from my brudders n im proud of dat. haha!!

2005-09-23T00:45:00.000-07:00

come august and september, IT always happens. wanna noe wats IT? ask my old frens.. hahs niwae IT is that tingy lahh. Ok lah i noe its a bit stupid, or maybe very stupid for me to say this but..... hmm..

dreamt bout IT again today but, dis time, it was simply a nightmare lahh. hahs for the 1st time seh of all the many many tyms. usually they are sweet but today it wasnt at all. duhhh who wants a nightmare to come true am i rite.. so back to my so called bday celeb organized by my class... am i supposed to be excited bout it? hmm.. tot i shud but tink i shudn't. reason being ders nuting to look forward to ah now. lest everyting went on as planned, i'll juz go der to show face only lahh. niwae thnx to e organizer, kenneth, for all these planning. if im still alive, i'll give u sumting in return for ur bday ks. can get u a gf lah k if u really tink u need one. juz dun tink i can be like me cos im different frm many guys, am juz weird. no use being a player like what u said always cos u will be smacked back ONE day. hmmm.... BUTTT, i was really pissed off wif u ok juz now!!! cud haf been more pissed off if u called me more.. still dare to ask wat happen eh. so dis will teach u a lesson ya. watch ur words k, handsome! if u wana tok bout that again, pls.

think think think

anddd i learnt a new word today. preposterous. many has asked wats wif shamfull. hahs its nuting actually cos anyway lest a miracle happen, shamms gonna be back. ok so i'll like to see whats gonna happen on sat evening, not only e bbq tingy lahhh... i noe u noe can oreadi lahh ya guys. lols anddd suddenly im feeling guilty cos what i have been doing for the past few weeks. sorry yahh. if any friend out there noes bout this, pass this msg on to her. cos i juz got a feeling shes having some probs there and juz wish i cud be e one to tok to her. hahs will try if im given e chance though. hahs and like what i have doing and she has realized that, i'll still stand by her lahh. MAYBE...

MAYBE i'll write about some other girls in e nex entry lahh.. haha u noe me, "hi im shamm" and i'll at least get the number if i want. believe me, its juz dat im shy.. wahahha... annddd till then

adios chicos,chicas, senorita~

2005-09-20T01:12:00.000-07:00

hahaha my 18th resolution was, hmm sumting that i actually almost accomplished but was stalled in July. Lols. Hah some pple might noe it. Its a bit lame, but u wont understand lahh, it really was reflecting well on me. 19th resolution is, haha as given by some, 'to be a ms shamm'. in order words, dey r asking me to be a mr sissy. No shame seh u all. wahaha. but well, not only dis though. my self proclaimed resolution for dis new season is, hmm.. carry on with e thing that stalled my old resolution? ahakz..

niwae. did 19th september started at 12am or izit 12pm? coz i was like sort of flooded wif msgs only afta 12pm. Was der anything wrong wif e network last nite? Narhhs it cant be as wrong as me last nite rite. got so pissed off with maself, n e timing was perfect, dun u tink... andddd anyway i'll like to say thanks to all e pple who actually stood by me, listenned to me when at times, i seemed dwn although i could actually keep to maself lahh.. hehe. pple like e EXCOs, my father my mother my sis, bro, nephew and everyone out der who noes me. Thanks!! without u, i wont get the chance to get this award... n for those sisters out der, wahah.. hmm.. do i sound like a mr sissy now? lols.. wekk ah.. only till poly forum... eh ehs, how do we actually say this, "if spartan, i'll go".. ahakz.. stupid lahh u all.. andddd thnks for e cake lahh! n e bang on my teeth, LOLs. niwae, u all made me realize sumting, gd frens can be found anywhere. its juz whether u wanna find dem and accept dem anot, dats all! girlfren thingy can wait, am i rite, wahaha.. but aiya u noe how i m rite, wahaha, 'introvert'. ahakz...

anddd thnks to my brudders frm e ex-dizturbance of jvs. im so bad to u all but u all still gimme prezen? wahh touching eh.. so moral of e story is, 'be bad to ur best mates' haha.. niwae really didnt expect that coz we haven been in contact for sooo long rite...

oklah... to end dis lonngg story.. thanks to all dat wished me, SMS or Live or Friendster(i noe sum testimonials couldnt be read as my frenster got bug, so sorrrrry), prezens, surprises, call, MSN... i really appreciate them ks. Love ya all lahh...u all haf made my day. what i tot was a nightmare bufday turned out to be wonderful sweet dream although without e dosage of vitamin c, not until e very last minute. Hmm, sumhow felt like sumtings troubling her..
niwae pple... nx yr dun forget, do it again k! wahahaha...

signing out. mr sissy e beautiful shamm.

2005-09-19T00:12:00.000-07:00

Happy bufday to me! Yeah its 19 turning 19 now. But niwae guess it's nt e best and arguably e worst, or maybe its just not going out as planned. So niwae thnx to those who wished me ya...
Hahs.. i'm not smiling now but... its my bufday wats. I have to smile lahh.. Lols

shamms *smiling now..

`__Everything is nothing__

Everything is sumting aftarall.

`Everything is nothing